Then fast forward 20 or so years. I was looking to switch up my workout and decided maybe it was time to try yoga again. And, low and behold, I liked it. In fact, I loved it! I loved the challenge. I loved learning the postures and breathing techniques. And I loved how my mind and body felt after a yoga session. Recently, one of my yoga instructors suggested our class try a crow pose – a challenging pose in which your hands are planted on the floor, your shins rest on your upper arms and your feet lift off the ground. Umm okay! My first efforts were feeble and unsuccessful. But after numerous attempts, I finally got it (albeit a bit wobbly)! My face lit up like a little kid riding their bike for the first time without someone holding onto the seat. I was so happy! But more importantly, I was so proud of myself.

Pride is a fascinating emotion.

Pride, in regard to emotion, is a loaded term. It can be a feeling of great pleasure or satisfaction from one’s achievements or the quality of having an excessively high opinion of oneself or one’s importance. The difference between the two descriptions is a bit jarring. The first one imparts a positive feeling while the second one gives a negative impression. They both describe a person’s emotion, but it’s like taking the first definition and kicking it up a notch or ten to reach the second. Pride in one’s own accomplishments is beautiful! It’s truly my favorite emotion. But to intensify that feeling and inflate one’s own ego to then believe you are more superior because of your achievements, leads to the second definition. Interesting, isn’t it?

I believe one of the best and most exciting qualities about the good pride is that it often surprises us. And it does so because in the back of our minds, we think that maybe we can’t do the thing we are trying to do. I wasn’t 100% sure I could do a crow pose. I didn’t know if my entire body would balance on my hands and wrists. But it did and I did it! We learn and try so many new things in our early years of life that it feels second nature, but overcoming something challenging in midlife and beyond is a unique kind of feeling. As we age, the process and practice of learning and attempting new things tends to wane. We often find a way to do something and stick with it, sometimes for months or years or the rest of our lives. But if you never try anything new or push yourself beyond what you believe you’re capable of, how can you feel proud of yourself?

Self-promotion or humility?

Once you’ve experienced a sense of pride, what you do with it and your joyful moment is up to you. Do you keep it to yourself or share it with your partner? Do you tell a few close friends or your entire social media audience? If you choose to share it with others and the message about your pride comes across as self-promoting or arrogant, you may get negative backlash. But if you lace your achievement with humility and modesty, it’s more apt to be received in a positive way.

How you communicate your pride can be the difference between the two definitions noted above and what differentiates pride from being a sin or a virtue. So while I felt very proud of my crow pose success, I don’t believe I’m better than others because of it. I’m just proud of me.

Find ways to feel proud.

You have so many opportunities each day to feel proud of yourself. Maybe you’re struggling with anxiety or depression and getting out of bed in the morning is difficult. Give yourself the gift of pride when you do get out of bed. You may think that’s too “normal and boring” to feel proud about, but if it’s something you’re struggling with and you accomplish it, you should be proud of yourself! Maybe you want to have a healthier relationship with alcohol. Your consumption feels excessive and you want to make changes. How about feeling proud of yourself for drinking one less drink a day? Or maybe you decide that on Tuesdays you won’t drink alcohol? Take a moment to feel the pride that comes with achieving something you weren’t 100% sure you could do – because you deserve it.

I love the feeling of being happy, but being proud of myself always leads me to experience happiness. It’s a win-win. Like I’m getting an incredible 2-for-1 deal. Each day, see if you can recognize a time when you succeeded at something you weren’t sure you could accomplish. Those moments give us the opportunity to feel proud of ourselves, increase our self-confidence and motivate us to continue tackling challenges and adversities moving forward.

So, when’s the last time you felt proud of yourself?

With grace,

Leah

P.S. And if this resonated with you in any way, please share it with others. The more compassion and understanding that’s out there in the world, the better.